Just undo yourself,

The sound of silence
Haunted her soul
Brought to violence
She taunted she world
In search of love
She's left all alone
And she looked above
Saying 'There's no one home'

Manic melodies
The highs and lows
She sings a song
That no one knows
She can't forget
And can't let go
She walks away
Morbid and stone

And she was crazy
But she was beautiful
A war unspoken through her eyes
It was crazy verses beautiful
Please dont tell her no lies

Brought to tears
From a shallow mind
Cold and torn
There was no sign
To guide her to
What she wanted the most
So she drank way down
Without a toast

The only thing that kept her alive
Was the hope of love and her joy, her pride
One good look in her daughter's eyes
Was the key to breathing
The joy and pride
And kept her refrained from seething
A long demise

And she was crazy
But she was beautiful
A war unspoken through her eyes
It was crazy verses beautiful
Please dont tell her no lies

Love was all she wanted
Pain was all she got

And she was crazy
But she was beautiful
A war unspoken through her eyes
It was crazy verses beautiful
Please dont tell her no lies

-me

She sat outside on the storm cellar doors, alone. Contemplation gripped her sanity for the moment and she was one lost in a storm so stick there seemed to way out. It was a desicion she must make, because nothing seemed to add up with him anymore. Inconsistancies in his stories, things dont add up or make sense, he tells tales in which she knows but she can't help but look past them having always longed for this kind of relationship, not that it was a relationship at all.

He didn't seem to feel the need to prove anything to her, it was all up to her. He'd ask for her comapany and when she arrived it was as if she was a pillow placed for comfort on her couch. These actions confused her, there was so much at stake. She could smell a heart-break right through the thick ice that covered this mess and impatiently antisipated the results.

The night before she sat on his couch for over an hour, wondering if this was some sort of punishment for not being cheery enough but as he arrived back down he explained himself, but his story didn't comfort her. He didn't even let her know.

There was not enough consistancy to support her happiness with him and she knew he was not about to go out of his way to prove otherwise. She wished that if she talked to him he wouldn't take it personally or offensively, listen; explain how he feels, where he thinks this is gonig if it's even going anywhere and go from there. Fear consumed her to the point of silence.

Is this right? She was never going to be able to see through this because he was untamed for no one and the only person he'd ever done so for had left him. Now there was just her and she felt as if she wasn't enough.

Her feet sifted through the heavy ice covering, let the tears roll off her cheek and dissapear into the snow. Such emotions would swallow her whole in a time like this, there was nothing she could do about it. No cigarettes to comfort her, no way to get out and escape these cold feelings and no alcohol to taint her mood.

There was nothing left for her here but deceit, misfortune and repatition. She started to think that she would never truely be happy again, just alone.

If no one was going to help her do this how would she do it alone?

A realization hit her. The plane ticket to france, the free room and board one person had mentioned and the nanny to babysit her daughter. She could escape this town, this city, this state and this god forsaken country with everyone in it. Maybe meet someone who would truely accept her for who she was, not take advantage, not take for granted, not lie to about stupid things...

Good things never last.